im hesitant to name anything as something i wish i hadnt done. what if that one thing changed the next thing i did. and the next and the next. til there were enough next things to qualify it as a course.
what if the course of my life had changed. where would i be now? somewhere "better" perhaps? maybe. or somwhere "worse"?
ive never known if an action im taking is a good thing or a bad thing in that moment. i dont have enough of the future answers in my hot little hand to know if my life is going in the right direction. i have done some things in my life that seemed to blow up in my face hard core. that seemed to create more distress and hurt and fear than anything ive ever known. and in that moment had you aked me my judgement of that i wouldve told you; "how could i have been so stupid. if i had my time again i would never do that!!!" and yet in hindsight those actions have taken me down new roads.
new roads of discovery about who i am, how i got to be this way and what i can do to discard some of that old stuff. make some space for the universe to redecorate my inner world which once was so dark and sad.
today my life is brilliant. its bright and happy and i am free. what a journey to get here. and if i could go back and do it all again i would have to do it the same. because if i didnt i might not end up here. and right now there is nowhere ide rather be. and that is a gift that i am incredibly grateful for.
TRUE! We learn from everything. If some things had not had happened, we wouldn't have learned and then where would we be?
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